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Oprah’s Favorite Things

May 16, 2008 | 4:57 pm

You know how, when you think of The Beatles or Elvis Presley, any image you have of them in your head, they’re always accompanied by shots of their hysterical screaming fans? These girls that are crying, and fainting, and screaming, and hugging, and dropping like flies at the sight of their idol? ok, well, that’s fine, i mean, it’s the Beatles, i guess they were hot for their time, and it’s Elvis, you know, he had… um… the hips :-S

So, I guess the fans remain the same for modern day stars, like Justin Timberlake or Tom Cruise. But you could imagine how women might get excited to even see someone like Oprah, right? It’s just, well, cuz she’s a woman, there’s not the sex appeal part that woman see in Elvis or Justin, and yet, i’ve seen The Oprah Show, and they do get excited as well, not quite to that extend, but when she enters the room, they jump up, scream a bit, wave, jump up and down and clap joyfully.

But here’s something i just DON’T get, maybe someone can explain this to me. So the audience of The Oprah Show get “kinda” excited when they see Oprah arrive, but when she stands up and says “today is Oprah’s favorite things day”, something happens that i don’t even think happened when John Lennon walked on stage. Oprah says those 6 words, and it’s INSTANT mass-hysteria, and i mean mass-hysteria like it’s not even conceivable. And it lasts for like 5 minutes. The women jump up from their chairs, and they YELL these shrills that should be illegal. Then, they start crying, hyper-ventilating, hugging the total stranger standing next to them, some of them in shock, some gesturing like they’re about to throw up from the excitement, some of them throwing their arms up in the air and thanking God, and they’re crying, and crying… It’s like some supreme being just came down from the Heavens and promised to take away all their pains, stop all wars and remove world hunger. Cuz honestly, a reaction like that should NOT be caused by something so materialistic, it seems wrong, somehow.

I honestly don’t get it. I love Oprah, you know that. But this? I REALLY don’t get it. Why? I mean i get it, she’s gonna tell you everything she loves right now, and then give one of each thing to each audience member, so, by the end of the afternoon, each person has walked away with about $2K worth of gifts. That’s awesome, great, congrats, i’m happy for you. But why hyper-ventilate? Why faint?

I swear, Oprah and to stand there for 5 minutes, saying “Calm down, relax, ssshh, it’s ok” and she has this look of bewilderment, and it took the women 5 minutes to calm down.

This has got to be acting right? I mean, seriously? Ok, the gifts were cool, the main ones were: a stove-top range cooker thing worth $800, a GPS system, a $200 gift card for any Courtyard Marriott (um, hello, can i just point out that a Courtyard Marriott is NOT a super luxurious hotel, it’s just like your average Holiday Inn?). Other gifts include a range of makeup, some clothes and swimsuits, a CD and a weekender bag. Then her friend Gail introduced this blush brush (yes, yes, a makeup brush) that’s valued at $75 and told them they were each getting one, and the mass-hysterial begun again: they were up on their feet screaming and clapping.

Ok, maybe it’s just the fact that these women know they’re now using all the products Oprah uses. Because, I mean, you can go on game shows and win way more, right? So it can’t purely be the money value. The worst part is that i fear that this is just companies sponsoring this show and telling Oprah what to showcase, i don’t even think she necessarily uses all this stuff, does she? Sorry, try as I may, I really still don’t get it. If you’re gonna thank the Lord for something, please! Don’t let it be for a makeup brush!

But maybe i’m totally missing something. I try to be as open as possible with anything i come across in my life, and i want to understand this. Can someone share some insight? Please post a comment.

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